So I've been having this dilemma with my son as every now and then he approach me with the request for a NEW BABY!! I reminded him he already have a baby sister... but he insisted he wants a tiny one to bath and change for her!!
That made me pause and wonder..... are we selfish for not wanting a 3rd baby? How do you know what is the right number? Is 2 too few?
That made me pause and wonder..... are we selfish for not wanting a 3rd baby? How do you know what is the right number? Is 2 too few?
Both Hubby and I come from a semi big family... His entire family from both sides got 3 children and so does most of mine!! So we always thought and secretly hoped to have 3 children of our own!! But you learn as you are growing up that not everything you hope for you will get!!
We are extremely thankful for our 2 blessings..even more grateful that life granted us both a BOY and a Girl...Luckily there's only 2 years difference between my kids and as hard, crazy, and tiring as it was in the beginning I have to say that now it's getting much better...especially that neither of us have direct cousins same age as ours (this is sad as they don't get to play and grow up together)
Thus, my kids are gradually becoming each other best friends, companions, and play dates!!
We are extremely thankful for our 2 blessings..even more grateful that life granted us both a BOY and a Girl...Luckily there's only 2 years difference between my kids and as hard, crazy, and tiring as it was in the beginning I have to say that now it's getting much better...especially that neither of us have direct cousins same age as ours (this is sad as they don't get to play and grow up together)
Thus, my kids are gradually becoming each other best friends, companions, and play dates!!
Yet, the BIG question remains.....Should we have #3?
Are we being selfish on our kids?
Are we really done with the baby world?
A lot of people around me are having their third child.. there’s lot of pregnant bellies all around. Of course when I see them I remember mine as babies and my motherly instinct kicks in: how cute they were and how great would it be to start all over again. The milestones, the breastfeeding, their first steps will be in my memory forever.
When we had our 2nd baby...Suddenly, everything became infinitely harder. Shopping, cooking, even getting dressed in the morning. And don’t even get me started on the horror that is simply trying to get out the door to any function on time. So I can’t imagine what 3 will do.
ADD up....
1- I just recently weaned my now 2 years and 9 month old baby...
2- We are all still co-sleeping and my struggle with all these sleepless nights is still ON... The super forward life is still FRESH and going on STRONG.
3- I left my career 5 years ago, I'm a stay- at-home mum with no ongoing job or income, our entire expenses are managed by only my Hubby's income and so I wonder....
4- We don't have a live-in helper nor close family members to babysit, assist, or help in any way possible!!
So..
Would I dare to do this all over again?
One side of me says yes but my pragmatic side says no....
We want the best for our children! With only 2 we can afford to offer
More children will add lots of more and NEW expenses on all levels...
When we had our 2nd baby...Suddenly, everything became infinitely harder. Shopping, cooking, even getting dressed in the morning. And don’t even get me started on the horror that is simply trying to get out the door to any function on time. So I can’t imagine what 3 will do.
ADD up....
1- I just recently weaned my now 2 years and 9 month old baby...
2- We are all still co-sleeping and my struggle with all these sleepless nights is still ON... The super forward life is still FRESH and going on STRONG.
3- I left my career 5 years ago, I'm a stay- at-home mum with no ongoing job or income, our entire expenses are managed by only my Hubby's income and so I wonder....
4- We don't have a live-in helper nor close family members to babysit, assist, or help in any way possible!!
So..
Would I dare to do this all over again?
One side of me says yes but my pragmatic side says no....
We want the best for our children! With only 2 we can afford to offer
- The best education: We can save more money for college and give them each the best opportunities because we aren't splitting resources between more children
- Fun and outings
- Equally divided time for bonding
- Equally divided resource between each
- Hanging more often together
- Be our own little team
- Travelling (we use to travel a lot pre-kids and we loved exploring new countries)
More children will add lots of more and NEW expenses on all levels...
- Dividing and sharing resources between 3 is not the same as between 2!!
- We will even have to upgrade our car into a family station.
- Not to mention...Our children are very active and handful....whereas we're getting older and we are not as active and energetic as much!
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Yet again!!! having more children will pay off when they are older...more to love...a bigger legacy that you will leave behind...
If you raise them well, they will take care of you when you are old.... They will be there for you..the more the merrier!!
- They will be each other friends
- They will be each other support
- Parents will get more help around the house
- Big Family gatherings and celebrations
If you raise them well, they will take care of you when you are old.... They will be there for you..the more the merrier!!
I still don't have the right answer....
I have to admit at some point it is tormenting....
The never ending struggle between you and yourself...always questioning yourself if you are making the right decisions for your family...If you are taking care of their best interest..if you are being fair!!
I keep saying I wish our financial and living situation was different.. But it is scary to think that we have become so focused on providing for our children that we think it’s about money. See...I'm not sure if it is or it isn't!!!
We want to nurture and provide for our children in every way possible. Yet I think we have to remember that our children don’t need special lessons, or fancy colleges, or the latest and greatest toys to grow up into loving, caring adults.
The true lessons that we as parents want to instill into our children can be found in a family–kindness, love, laughter, and what it means to share it all!!
I know right now 2 is perfectly GREAT and FIT US Perfectly.
We are fulfilled, satisfied, happy and content!
We are thankful of our blessings and it is our ultimate and only mission to provide whatever we can for them!
Having our 2 children was a choice. I gave up things, career, hobbies, free time, more sleeps and naps, peers, jewelries, some off dresses, pamper time, and many others. It's a pity some parents choose to give up on their children so they won't have to sacrifice their lifestyle.
I regret nothing. My life was, is and will always be all for my children.
The never ending struggle between you and yourself...always questioning yourself if you are making the right decisions for your family...If you are taking care of their best interest..if you are being fair!!
I keep saying I wish our financial and living situation was different.. But it is scary to think that we have become so focused on providing for our children that we think it’s about money. See...I'm not sure if it is or it isn't!!!
We want to nurture and provide for our children in every way possible. Yet I think we have to remember that our children don’t need special lessons, or fancy colleges, or the latest and greatest toys to grow up into loving, caring adults.
The true lessons that we as parents want to instill into our children can be found in a family–kindness, love, laughter, and what it means to share it all!!
I know right now 2 is perfectly GREAT and FIT US Perfectly.
We are fulfilled, satisfied, happy and content!
We are thankful of our blessings and it is our ultimate and only mission to provide whatever we can for them!
Having our 2 children was a choice. I gave up things, career, hobbies, free time, more sleeps and naps, peers, jewelries, some off dresses, pamper time, and many others. It's a pity some parents choose to give up on their children so they won't have to sacrifice their lifestyle.
I regret nothing. My life was, is and will always be all for my children.
They are growing up super fast, soon and soo soon they will leave our nest...and we will be all alone again!
